I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
