Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Randomize
