no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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