Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize