The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Randomize
