Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize