if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
Randomize
