Me too!
evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
My cat gives me a boner
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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