Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
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