Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
So much Jack, so little girl.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Randomize
