Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
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