Where did you get a picture of my penis
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
