thus making me awesome and them whores
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Randomize
