I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
