I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
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