I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
