the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
Randomize
