plz talk dirty to me
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
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