We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
Randomize
