i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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