it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
Randomize
