He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
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