cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Randomize
