Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
Life is so much better after having sex.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
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