He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
Randomize
