He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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