apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
Randomize
