she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
Randomize
