very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Randomize
