garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
Randomize
