Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
