Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
