did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize
