As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
My dad is sitting where you rode me
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
