Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize