its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
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