I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
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