I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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