Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Randomize
