This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
You know, be my cock's hype man.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
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