Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
