the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
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