yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
It's rum buckets o'clock
Life without a bra equals bliss.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
Randomize
