so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Randomize
