Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
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