I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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