I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
Everyone says I win the strip club
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
I think my moral compass just broke
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Randomize
