dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
