There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
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