You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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