My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Randomize
