Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize