I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
So much Jack, so little girl.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
Randomize
