was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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