belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
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