Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
I am mentally ready for anal.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
Randomize
