i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Randomize
