Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
