you guys were way drunker than both of me
omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Randomize
