I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
