So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
Randomize
